New Year Clerihews 2023

 

Vic Davies

That Davies bloke called Vic

He showed he isn't thick.

His table tennis can get bad,

Especially when he gets mad.

 

Liz Conolly

Mrs. Conolly, first name Liz,

Really, really is the biz.

Loves a seat at the front table,

Always gets there if she’s able.

 

Mick Staples

Ah, here is Mick Staples:

Loves his football from Grimsby to Naples.

Could be a pundit on the telly,

Always gives it plenty of welly.

 

Phil Sharpe

Mister Sharpe, first name Phil:

At table tennis he knows the drill.

Master of defensive ploys,

Wins his matches with lots of poise.

 

Ron Dawson (added 9\1\23)

Cider and Ale to Ron Dawson known as Rocket.

He has the whole World in his pocket.

Knows the routes of all the trains:

Lots of knowledge (on brewing and trains) fills his brains.

 

Paul Butters

 

© PB 6\1\23.

Clerihews December 2022

 (Picture Credit Adele Kenny)

Steve Green (with extra verses)

Stephen Green

Who knows where he’s been?

Out on that bike

Sometimes taking a hike.

Loves Rugby League and ale

And Cider by the pale.

 

Ryan Jagger

Look at Ryan Jagger

Dancing with a swagger.

Full of jokes and taking the Mick

Pours a beer-glass very quick.

 

Charles Lumley

Charles Lumley’s on full throttle:

He’s the owner of “Message in a Bottle”.

Stacks cans and bottles with precision

Never afraid to make a decision.

 

Jenny

You just can’t beat that lovely Jenny

She surely is worth every penny.

Hearing music, she has to dance

Enchanting with that cheeky glance.

Nigel

Doing his crossword, there is Nigel!

He knows everything from here to Rigel.

Need a proof-reader? He’s your man.

Want it in Latin? Nigel can.

Nuff Fer Now

 

Paul Butters

 

© PB 28\12\2022.

Living

Right now bright sunshine blinds us to the sense

That we all live in a nebulous mist of uncertainty

Only knowing that eventually everyone Dies

After witnessing the miraculous wonder of Existence.

 

Eternal Infinity is impossible

Yet so too are finite boundaries

That only last for seconds.

 

There must be an Ultimate, All Powerful, Supremely Intelligent Being

Somewhere

We would think.

But is that possible in an Infinite Eternity?

And would any such being really be Omni Everything?

 

So we soldier on

Keeping ourselves amused.

Watching out for any clues

As to what this is all about.

 

Paul Butters

 

© PB 26\12\2022.

Legend

(Picture Credit - Gizah Pyramids from Wiki com)

Legend says that during the last Ice Age

There was a worldwide civilisation

Quite advanced

Which built magnificent pyramids in Egypt,

South America and South East Asia

And great cities

Some deep underground.

 

But at the end of that Ice Age

There was a cataclysm

As snaking comet-shards showered on The Earth

So the ice sheets melted

Causing a Great Flood

And almost all was lost.

 

Which begs the question

How far back do we really go?

Were those mythical dragons

So bravely fought by noble knights

Actually Dinosaurs?

 

Have We been around for many millions of years?

Oh for a Time Machine

So we could go back

To discover The Truth.

Scientists insist there would be nothing to find

As their theories and constructs are all

They can see

Or wish to see.

But Intuition tells me otherwise

So the search for facts

Must go on.

 

Paul Butters

 

© PB 25\12\2022.

Modern Times

                                      (Picture Credit - Shanghai by Ask2Travel com)

In teenage years I and others dreamt

Of hover cars,

Moving pavements

And endless star treks.

 

But what did we get?

People shuffling along with heads in mobiles.

All transfixed by a Virtual World.

A seemingly endless forest of digital pages

As they scroll down through a teeming waterfall

Of so-called comments, images and memes.

 

But in the real world

Buildings crumble

People freeze and starve

Because some computer says

They don’t have the “Money”

To maintain anything or

Even feed themselves

Or their children.

 

Where did that image of a glorious future go?

You don’t need telling that

We have war in Europe

As mighty Superpowers and International Corporations

Jostle with one another

To control our lives.

World domination is what they seek.

 

Their factories pour clouds of black smoke

Into the sky

While they appease us with Climate Conferences

And blame Mister and Missus Everyone

For polluting the planet.

 

But as I say, you don’t need me to tell you this

Or sooth you with a Moon in June.

As the Americans say, Reality sucks

Which is why

All those heads are stuck in all those phones.

 

Paul Butters

 

© PB 9\11\2022.